This Movember, we're shining a light on something that deserves more attention: the mental health of new dads.
When a baby arrives, everything changes.
Suddenly, life revolves around feeding schedules, nappies, sleepless nights, tiny clothes and an overwhelming amount of love.
Friends and family visit, bringing gifts for the baby. They ask Mum how she's recovering, whether she's managing to sleep and how she's finding motherhood.
And these conversations are so important.
But there's often someone else standing quietly in the background, making cups of tea, changing nappies and trying to work out this whole parenting business.
Dad.
And sometimes, nobody thinks to ask how he's doing.
Becoming a Dad Is a Huge Life Change, Too
We talk a lot about the emotional and physical challenges of becoming a mother, and rightly so.
But becoming a father can bring its own enormous emotional adjustments.
There's the responsibility of caring for a tiny human being. The financial pressures. The lack of sleep. The changes in relationships, routines and priorities.
Perhaps Dad has returned to work while Mum is at home with the baby, and he's struggling with the guilt of leaving them.
Perhaps he's trying so hard to support his partner that he hasn't stopped to consider how he's feeling himself.
Or perhaps he simply doesn't feel the instant connection with his baby that everyone seems to expect.
And that can be incredibly lonely.
The truth is, you can love your baby more than anything in the world and still find becoming a parent really, really difficult.
Those two feelings can exist together.
Did You Know Dads Can Experience Postnatal Depression?
It's something that still surprises many people.
Postnatal depression isn't something that only affects mothers.
Fathers and non-birthing partners can experience depression and anxiety during pregnancy and after their baby arrives.
In fact, the NHS estimates that up to 1 in 10 men experience mental health problems such as depression or anxiety during pregnancy or the first year after childbirth.
And it doesn't always look like sadness.
For some dads, struggling might mean:
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Feeling unusually irritable, angry or frustrated.
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Withdrawing from friends, family or their partner.
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Feeling overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities.
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Struggling to connect emotionally with their baby.
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Losing interest in things they used to enjoy.
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Feeling constantly worried, guilty or not good enough.
Of course, having a difficult day or feeling exhausted doesn't automatically mean someone has depression.
But when those feelings persist, worsen or begin affecting everyday life, they deserve attention and support.
The Pressure to Be the Strong One
How many times have we heard someone say that a man needs to be strong for his family?
It's often meant kindly.
But sometimes that expectation can make it harder for men to admit when they're struggling.
A new dad might feel he shouldn't complain because his partner has been through pregnancy and childbirth.
He might worry that talking about his own feelings would somehow take attention away from her.
Or perhaps he's simply never been encouraged to talk openly about his emotions.
But supporting someone else shouldn't mean neglecting yourself.
Dads deserve support, not just responsibility.
And asking for help isn't a sign that you're failing as a father.
It's a sign that you're human.
Five Little Ways We Can Support New Dads
Sometimes, making a difference doesn't require a grand gesture.
1. Ask how HE is doing.
Not just how Mum and Baby are getting on. Ask Dad how he's sleeping, how he's coping and how he's feeling about everything.
And make time to listen to the answer.
2. Make space for honest conversations.
Parenthood isn't always magical. Sometimes it's exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming.
Let dads know they're allowed to say that out loud without being judged.
3. Encourage time for themselves.
Whether it's a walk, a coffee with a friend, a bit of exercise or simply an uninterrupted hour to relax, dads need opportunities to recharge, too.
4. Include dads in the parenting conversation.
From baby groups to healthcare appointments and everyday parenting discussions, fathers deserve to feel involved, welcomed and valued.
5. Remind them that they matter.
Not just because of what they provide or how much they do for their family.
But because their happiness, health and wellbeing are important in their own right.
This Movember, Let's Remember the Dads
Here at Gummee, we're a family business, and family has always been at the heart of everything we do.
We know that behind every little baby is a whole world of people learning, adapting, worrying, loving and doing their very best.
And we believe those people deserve looking after, too.
This Movember, we'd love to encourage everyone in our community to check in on the dads in their lives.
Your partner. Your son. Your brother. Your friend.
Ask them how they're doing.
And if they say they're fine, but something tells you otherwise, perhaps ask again.
Because sometimes, a simple conversation can mean more than we realise.
To every dad reading this: You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to be strong every minute of every day. And you certainly don't have to struggle in silence.
You matter, too. 💙
Where to Find Support
If you're a dad who's struggling, please know that support is available.
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Your GP: A good starting point if you're experiencing ongoing anxiety, low mood or difficulty coping.
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NHS Talking Therapies: Free support for anxiety and depression in England, with self-referral available.
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Samaritans: Call 116 123, free, day or night, if you need someone to listen.
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Movember: Visit uk.movember.com for men's mental health resources and advice.
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PANDAS Foundation: Support for parents and families affected by perinatal mental health difficulties.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
With love, the Gummee family 💜
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