What if I fail at breastfeeding?
It's World Breast Feeding Week from the 01st to the 8th of August so I'm once again sharing my own experience in the hope that it will help at least one person out there who may be having a hard time for whatever reason, with the breast
That’s how long our breast feeding journey lasted. In the end, my boobies let us down unfortunately. They both became blocked and engorged and at 3am on day 14 after spending 8 hours trying to feed you, I was an absolute wreck. I tried expressing and it took me two hours to get a single ounce, from both breasts. Midwives and health professionals just kept saying: “Keep going, you’re doing great, try a different position”.
If it took me two hours to get one ounce, how little was my boy getting? No wonder he was so upset and unsettled. My father-in-law took me to hospital that morning because my breasts had become square shaped, very red and angry and my armpits were now swelling and becoming red and I could barely move my arms.
What could I do? we had to switch to formula. I felt intense guilt and sadness at having to lose the closeness that I felt breast feeding gave me and my boy. But I would rather have given birth again than go through that pain in my breasts, I can hand on heart say that and mean it whole heartedly.
In the end, I thank the lord we could switch to formula and reduce all of our suffering relatively easily. My emotions could wait for a while…my baby needed to be fed. If you’re reading this and you’re going through anything similar right now, please be kind to yourself. No body else’s opinion counts when it comes to what is best for you, your baby and YOUR circumstances.
Please don’t compare yourself to anyone else and please remember to apply some context. Their thoughts and opinions do not matter because they know very little about the many things going on in your life that can culminate into the reasons behind your decisions. The fact you worry about it so much tells you all you need to know about yourself as a Mum.