'Nothing could’ve prepared me for the tidal wave of fear that came next. Looking back now, I know it was health anxiety. For me, it was an all consuming fear that I was going to lose my son. For the first two weeks at home after leaving the hospital, I didn’t sleep. I obviously must have gotten enough sleep for my survival but I don’t recall sleeping. I recall lying next to my sons crib, watching his every breath and quietly sobbing that I might lose him if I fall asleep. He had a breathing detector mat underneath him and a camera above his cot with a screen next to my bed so that I could see him, even though I was right next to him.'
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'Nothing could’ve prepared me for the tidal wave of fear that came next. Looking back now, I know it was health anxiety. For me, it was an all consuming fear that I was going to lose my son. For the first two weeks at home after leaving the hospital, I didn’t sleep. I obviously must have gotten enough sleep for my survival but I don’t recall sleeping. I recall lying next to my sons crib, watching his every breath and quietly sobbing that I might lose him if I fall asleep. He had a breathing detector mat underneath him and a camera above his cot with a screen next to my bed so that I could see him, even though I was right next to him.'
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